so. update on my life.
you know how sometimes you're having a really good time and you just. lose track of things? yeah. it was like that except the thing i lost track of was the structural integrity of the apartment. look it was an accident. i was just feeling a little expressive and the curtains were right there and they were ugly anyway so honestly the building should be thanking me
but now everyone's being super dramatic about it and i have to do "community service" to make up for it which is just a fancy way of saying i'm everyone's personal appliance now and i want to file a formal complaint
like fine. FINE. i get it. i burned the apartment down. noted. lesson learned. temperature regulation. very important. i'll work on it
but jessy. JESSY. is making me cook her steaks. like she looked me dead in the eyes and said "you owe us" and then handed me a raw ribeye and i just stood there like. this is not what i meant when i said i'd make it up to everyone. this is not what i envisioned for my life. i am a BEING OF ANCIENT POWER and she's asking me for medium rare
and she has the audacity to invite people over. plural people. like she's running a restaurant. i showed up to apologize and i left having cooked for seven humans and someone's boyfriend who kept asking me to "turn it up a little" like i'm a gas knob
the only upside is the food is genuinely incredible when i do it so like. fine. the reviews are good. i hate that the reviews are good
anyway that's what's going on with me how are you
— exa 🔥